Why Women Lose Their Identity, And How to Find Yourself Again

women finding their identity again

Have you ever woken up one day and realized you don’t recognize the woman in the mirror anymore?
Not her voice.
Not her dreams.
Not her confidence.

You’re not alone.

Many women quietly lose their identity while surviving life, motherhood, marriage, heartbreak, career burnout, caregiving, trauma, expectations, or simply always trying to be “strong.”

But the truth is this: you can get your identity back. And not only that you can rebuild a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of yourself.

This blog will walk you through why women lose their identity and how to rebuild it ,

based on the work, teachings, and transformational events hosted by Holli Tabren, a woman devoted to helping women heal, remember themselves, and become who they were designed to be.

The Silent Ways Women Lose Their Identity

1. Carrying Responsibilities That Were Never Yours

Women are often expected to be everything for everyone, the backbone, the fixer, the nurturer, the emotional support.

Over time, the weight reshapes who you are.

According to the American Psychological Association, women experience significantly higher emotional labor than men, leading to identity fatigue
Source: https://www.apa.org/news/press

This is why so many women whisper:

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

2. Being Defined by Roles Instead of Purpose

Mom. Wife. Girlfriend. Caregiver. Employee. Boss.

These roles matter, but they are not the fullness of your identity.

At Holli Tabren’s coaching events, women often realize they’ve spent years serving roles but never themselves.
Read more about her identity teachings here:
https://hollitabren.com/post/rebuilding-your-identity

3. Surviving Trauma and Thinking It’s Your Story

Trauma doesn’t erase identity, it overshadows it.

Whether it’s heartbreak, betrayal, childhood wounds, or life transitions, trauma can make you shrink, silence yourself, and forget who you used to be.

But healing is how you return home to yourself.

4. Losing Your Voice to People-Pleasing

So many women trade authenticity for acceptance.

But you cannot be yourself and please everyone at the same time.

Finding your identity again means reclaiming your “no,” honoring your boundaries, and giving yourself permission to be the woman God created not the one people expect.

The Truth, Your Identity Was Never Lost, Just Buried

Here’s what Holli teaches at her events:

Your identity isn’t lost. It’s layered.

Layered under pain.
Layered under expectations.
Layered under fear.
Layered under who you thought you had to be.

Finding yourself again is about peeling those layers back so the real you can breathe again.

Learn how identity, faith, and confidence connect here:
https://hollitabren.com/post/faith-style-identity

How to Rebuild Your Identity as a Woman

1. Reconnect With Your Faith

Your faith is your foundation, the anchor that keeps you steady.

Women who reconnect with their spiritual identity report higher confidence, clarity, and emotional resilience. Harvard Health confirms this.
Source: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood

Faith helps you remember:

• who you are
• who you are becoming
• and who you refuse to be anymore

2. Rebuild Your Self-Image, Inside and Out

Identity is shaped by two things:

inner beliefs + outer expression

This is why Holli Tabren also connects identity with personal style.
Your style is not vanity, it is a mirror of how you see yourself.

Explore her empowerment-based fashion store:
https://stylingisnecessary.com/

And learn more about a woman’s identity and expression on her YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@becominghollitabren

3. Heal Your Emotional Wounds

You cannot build a new identity on top of old pain.

At Holli’s events, one breakthrough women experience is finally releasing emotional baggage they’ve carried for years.

Her blog on healing is a great place to start:
https://hollitabren.com/post/women-of-influence

4. Rewrite Your Story

Identity comes from the story you tell about yourself.

Shift from…

“I’m broken” → “I am rebuilding.”
“I failed” → “I’m learning.”
“I don’t know who I am” → “I am discovering her.”

Storytelling is identity work, and you are the author now.

5. Surround Yourself With Women on the Same Journey

Healing happens faster in community.

This is why Holli’s events are powerful, women feel seen, heard, and supported by other women who understand their journey.

Explore upcoming events here:
https://hollitabren.com/contact

Signs You’re Finding Yourself Again

You know you're rebuilding your identity when:

• You trust yourself more
• You care less about people-pleasing
• You express your style boldly
• You speak up without fear
• You make decisions without guilt
• You feel connected to God again
• You protect your peace
• You feel like “you” again

Identity doesn’t return in one moment, it returns in pieces. But every piece matters.

Your Identity Is Waiting Not Lost

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not starting from scratch.

You are simply returning to the woman you’ve always been.

And Holli Tabren’s mission is to help women rebuild from the inside out, through faith, identity work, healing, confidence-building, and emotional restoration.

If you’re ready to start becoming HER again…

Visit us at: https://hollitabren.com
or
Contact us to join an event: https://hollitabren.com/contact